i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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