I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
party gras won. party gras always wins.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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