: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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