I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
