would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There's always time for handjobs
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
