So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
