then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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