We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize