atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
