p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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