ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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