i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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