Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
