Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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