Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
