Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
