some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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