if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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