We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
