what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
