We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think my moral compass just broke
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
