He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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