what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Randomize
