Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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