I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
