Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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