I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
