My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
