please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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