you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i already hear my dad disowning me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
