i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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