Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
