I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
