He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize