dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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