I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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