do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
