whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
