This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
