Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
