Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
