Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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