you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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