Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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