I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She made me pour olive oil on her.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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