This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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