Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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