you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
