I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
