People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
