so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
