all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
