so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
