Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
