I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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