There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
