East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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