On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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