Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
